Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Josh Wax's Theory on the Origin of Woman

After recently being created himself, Adam moped around in the Garden of Eden while eating his lunch.

"Adam," Said the Lord God Almighty with a voice like thunder, "Why the long face? Are you not happy here?"

"God," Adam replied, "You know I'm happy; I have a whole world to run around in, millions of animals to pet, Playstation 3..."

"Well," God inturrupted, "What seems to be the problem then?"

"Well, I need companionship." Adam answered

"What about Lucy?" God asked.

"Lucy's a goat."

"I see. Well, what type of creature are you looking for?"

"I was thinking...maybe something kind of like me, but not so....manly. Someone I can talk to and spend the rest of my life with."

"I've given you the world already. The land and everything that roams on it or grows from it, it's all yours. Now you want me to give you more?"

"Please, God, just this one more thing and then I'll be happy. I'll do anything for it."

God thought about it for a second, and looked down at Adam's lunch and said "I'll do it if you give me your McRib."

"My McRib???" Adam then took a few seconds to think about this himself. On one hand, he could spend a lifetime enjoying the company of another person to interact with. Someone to love and to hold and to hold a thoughtful conversation with. Then, on the other hand, he could spend a couple minutes enjoying the tasty, juicy, delicious McRib...mmmmm. "You want my McRib?" Adam now said with an attutude. "I would sooner give you one of the ribs from my chest." He then let out a laugh, knowing that there's no way God would take a rib from his very chest....

In the end, Adam recieved his companion, Eve, and was still able to enjoy his McRib. God was happy too. On one hand, he wanted Adam to have a mate even though he wasn't willing to give up his McRib for it. On the other hand, even though he had taken a rib from Adam's chest, God thought his poor attitude deserved a bigger punishment.

And that's my theory on why God doesn't let McDonald's keep the McRib on their menu year round....only long enough to tease us with them.

December 1, 2006 - Friday

1 comment:

Bickford said...