Pink Eye

I had the pleasure of having pink eye in my right eye over the weekend. They say pink eye is highly contagious and tell you to constantly wash your hands and be sure not to come into contact with anyone else so they don't catch it.

I can't help but wonder how contagious pink eye can be though, if my left eye doesn't even catch it. They share the same face...you must know that whatever hand or object i'm rubbing in one eye, I most likely also rub in the other. And however far away I should be from others, I'm positive it must be farther than the inch which seperates my right eye from the left.

Could it be that my nose acts as such a great barrier that even pink eye can not break through from one eye to the other? Perhaps then we should embrace the nose and use it to its fullest potential. No more curtains seperating hospital beds. From now on we produce large artificial noses to keep patients from catching each others illnesses.

Perhaps such illnesses are only the beginning. Perhaps we can build even larger noses to act as larger barriers. Maybe these noses can stop a nuclear attack from spreading throughout a country. Perhaps we should erect these noses at every coast and border of the United States. Perhaps that would also take care of our problem of immigrants coming in from mexico. They may be digging their way into our country now, but c'mon...who's going to dig inside a giant nose? That's just disgusting.

I beseech you all who are with me on this, write your president and congressmen and demand we get to work on these Noses of Refuge at once!

October 2, 2006 - Monday